Untitled...just a post i guess....

Ok for real. It's been a long time. I always say im going to write a lil' something regularly but end up being caught up by my life experiences. So, yeah, Dwele's new album is out. Came out yesterday. If you only knew how long i have been awaiting this dudes album. Im FEELING! it man. He's one of the few artists that can catch my attention musically. It's like his music relates
to only people who keep it real, it's so raw, yet easy on the ear. But yeah, thats what im listening to now....at work....slouching in my seat and gazing into the sky. My desk faces the window you see, so my view is beautiful, i see EVERYTHING lol, i call it the snitches view, all a snitch needs to catch someone out hehe.

Today was quite boring at work, in fact the past month has been really boring. There
is nothing much to do and thank God my contract is ending in a month. Now, in the wonderful world of IT, most people never spend more than 2 years in a company. They tend to sort of treat companies like 'hoes'(no offence ladies, well im sure if you’re not one, disregard my apologies
because it won’t apply to you right? :-) ). So.....as i was saying. People in IT tend to just use the companies to get experience and then jump to another company, it’s a part of life i guess.....moving on.......something certain people find hard to do(i'll get to that in another post, no need for that now lol).

You know what, 2008 has to be the most random year of my life. Well, not exactly MY life, but man, I’ve seen some random things happening of recent. I mean, random people having babies, people you will never expect to be in a relationship are getting themselves tied down and stuff.
Now, i know this is not just me, but you all must be able to witness to this aswell. I seriously don't know what is going on, i mean i ain't superstitious or anything, but damn, the things that have been happening, it HAS to be leading somewhere.lol.

More about me and Boys:

I hooked up with some of the guys over the weekend. Was with Rafael and Terry, Marcus couldn't make 'The Boyz' General Meeting lol as he was abroad on holiday. So, we Raf and Terry. I dont think y'all have met Terry before. Terry is one of The Boyz, about 5,9' in height i think. Dude wasn't as tall as me and Rafael but he was the 'dark chocolate' one of the batch, very much built, so he got a lotta older ladies, unlike me and Rafael who had the baby faces. Marcus just looks like a cleaned up bad boy, i guess that's his appeal. He is dark skin too but not as dark as Terry.

Terry is into finance and works for one of the big fancy investment banks, no need for me to mention which one for all you gold diggers lol. He works there as a financial analyst, a role he had dreamt about since we were young. The only career guys were me, Rafael and Terry. Marcus is into Real estate and Construction. I guess we all can say we are getting somewhere in life, thinking about most of our peers from school and stuff, most of them are probably in jail or somewhere, only God knows.

I was the only musical one out of all of us. I always aspired to be a songwriter and musician. I never went to university. I guess i kinda got lucky after college, and was able to get a hook-up with one of my uncles mates to do this advanced software engineering course. That's how i got this good job i am working on. I was able to move out of my parents place at a young age, get my own place and do my thing.

Sometimes i think it sucks that i didn't go to university, especially after all the years my parents drummed the importance of it into my ears. All Rafael, Terry and even Marcus went to university to get a degree......i guess i was kinda buggin out after college thinking about what course to do so it kinda fell of my list of things to do after i got this job and started getting paid. I guess it’s not too late , i'm only 21 and i guess there is still a few months to September....hmmmm....we'll see.

At Rafaels place:

We sat in the dining area seated around the table having our usual discussions.

"So what's Zipporah saying bruv, you thought about wifeying her yet, you and her been seeing each other for a minute now bro" Said Terry with a big smile across his face, i guess he knew what my answer was going to be.

"No way mate, lol, i don't even need a girl right now man. Zipporah is cool, i mean, i really like her and she knows it, but i just aint ready right now. I'm a young dude, still got my whole life ahead of me, aint tryna settle down, girls just wanna have fun right?, they don't make those kinda songs for no reason you know?" i replied confidently.

"This guy knows the deal, he's got his head screwed on, that's the way forward Miguel, there are too many chicks around to stay tied down to one man, you aint tryna get married are you" said Rafael as he giggled, taking another cip of his Wine.

Terry is always tryna get us to settle down. He is just the epitome of a Morris Chestnut kinda guy. You know, the way those american writers portray the black actors as this good, strong, faithful man. I'm not saying they don't exist, but Terry is always tryna turn me and Raf into one of those kind of guys. He doesnt even bother with Marcus because that one, noone can get through to him, probably the most hard-headed guy i know.

"Terry, you watch too much of them black movies bruv" i said as we all laughed out loudly in the room.

We spent the whole night chatting away about the past, all our ex's and how we have dated the same girls, lol, it was funny. We gonna talk more about that in the next post i think. Right now, i am going to go and listen to my Dwele album all over again as i sit back in my seat drinking some cappuccino and brownies...yummy....then it's home time. It's only Wednesday...it feels like it's monday, the week has been going so slow.....oh well. Until next time.....and man, I’m seriously thinking about that university thing.......might be a 'thing'....

...

talk soon.

Miguel

Currently Listening to : Dwele ; Sketches Of A Man

Friday.....

Got into work late today, so my goal was to avoid eye contact with my manager and dive straight into my seat ready for work. I'm usually never late, well not on Fridays anyway, that's the day i wake up early, happy like a kid who is going to disney land the next day.

I don't remember the last time i was so tired at work. I mean, normanlly i go for 10 min breaks every so often, but today it was like that just wasn't enough. It was also like time was moving in mega slow motion ( for the sad people who don't have anything to do with there time go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullet_time to know a bit more about the subject of slow motion, but for the majority of us who don't give a damn, let's just carry on with the post eyy :-) ). So, yeah the day went by real slow, and it doesn't help when you don't have much to do, imagine being bored at work AND tired!! It got so bad that i kept looking at my phone
every 10 minutes to see if i had a text message....but all i kept seing was " T- Mobile" and my wall paper lol. Yeah sad i know, it was like i was in prison for 8 hours,even at lunch time it was like my phone was giving me the cold shoulder. I tried to call a few people, i tried Zipporah, no answer, i even tried Raf and i NEVER call this dude during the day, we always speak around 9pm times, that's "man dem" hours. from 11pm-3am, that is sexy hours, that's for the ladies. Any female that tries to call my phone outside of those hours will be ignored straight up; To me, that's like trying to call into work at 11pm to ask to speak to my manager...lol, never gonna
happen! So yeah even Raf didn't answer. After that i pretty much gave up hope and went back to chewing my pen and staring at my 2 19" LCD monitors, browsing the web and trying to find something intersting to look at.

LastFM.com. Now that's what caught my attention. That site is great. For those of you who don't know, you better get to know, its like the best social music website on the web. I had Raheem Devaughns playlist on repeat, which ran through all of his albums, and all of the songs. Great stuff believe me. "Believe"...........by the time it got to this song, my mind started doing spins. I started to zone out and suddenly it felt like i was not even at work anymore. That's what i love about music, it's like my espace from reality, which in my case at that point in time was BORING work!

"Just have some faith, thats all i ask, believe in meeee".....

Those lyrics just echoed through the thought regions of my mind, those electric guitars in the background, those warm beautiful jazz chords....

...i started to think about the past, which i hate doing, but i couldn't control it. I was being anchored. Anchoring is powerful, very powerful. It's a theory that Raf used to always yap on about back in the day, i didn't really understand it back then but now i fully do. I am not good at formal definitions so i will try and give a good example of what it is. One of the most powerful anchors is one that plays on one of our strongest senses, in this case Smell. Imagine a guy you like, always uses this particular cologne that you just can't get enough of and everytime you hug him, you just go weak at the knees. Now, say you and this guy happen to get into an argument for some reason or the other and stop talking or something......you will be somewhere one day, e.g let's say your shopping with some of your girls at H&M or something, and you see a guy and his girlfriend at the counter standing next to you, and by chance that guy happens to be wearing the same fragrance that your old friend used to wear, it will send an instant message to your brain and you will either start to think about him, times you shared etc etc or you will get a flashback. This process is inevitable. No matter how much you've tried to block that
person out of your mind, they will always be there like ghosts and all it takes is an Anchor to make them re-appear in your mind....

.....right now i was experiencing a musical anchor........my mind took me on a journey back to where i didn't want to go...

I started to think about her, the times we shared, the jokes we used to crack, her funny laugh, the way she used to make me laugh, her cute smile, the way she used to walk, that cute apple bum that complimented her petite body....her beautiful long black her....

...."Miguel!, Miguel, wake up, we're off to the pub mate, it's 5.30" a voice shouted whilst tapping my arm. That was my manager Chris. I couldn't believe i actually
had my head berried in my arm sleeping at work! lolol....it turned out that i wasn't there for long, funny, i must have really been in a zone.

"Oh, sorry Chris, i didn't even realise i was daydreaming mate, pub? yeah why not!" i replied. We normally head to the pub 2 fridays a month, the whole technology team at work, but i wasn't too keen on it, i don't know what i was even thinking when i said yes. I was planning to go and meet the guys insteand and do something, but oh well, i've already said yes. I hate saying yes to something then saying no after, especially to my manager, he hates it with a passion. "Cool, well get ready 'cus we're going local noone is planning on driving, meet us downstairs in the reception" he said in a tone of excitement as if he was going to the pub for the first time. I sat up and looked at my phone. I had 5 missed calls from Zipporah and a text message:-

"Miguel babe, sorry i missed your call, was busy. What are you doing after work today? You want to meet up and go to The Lounge?? xxxx"

I knew she would text back after i made plans, she always does that. Well, i had to tell her no can do, told her i was going out with the work lads. Besides i wasn't planning on meeting her anyway, i would have went out with the boys if my manager had not have cornered me with the pub offer. You probably wondering what The Lounge is. Well it's sort of like our chillout spot, where me and the boys go. Raf's older brother used to be a session musician there so when we were young we used to always chillout there after school. It was a very mature kind of bar, live music, relaxed environment, you know the kinda place where people go after work to just chillout. The live band played all kinds of music, but mostly contemporary jazz and some r&b on request.

I shut down my computer, packed by bag, leaped out of my seat, shouted the routine "IT'S FRIDAY" followed by a sigh of relief and was off to the PUB!!!!

...

....its been a long week....oh and you probable wondering who that 'someone' was i was thinking about......hmmmm......all i know is that anchoring is a
powerful thing......oh there's so much to telll......stay tuned my fellow diary geeks :-)

...i dont think i can be bothered to see Zipporah this weekend, i think it might have to be a "man dem" thing at The Lounge

....until next time.....see you soon


Miguel

Just a few introductions Part 1

Yo Diary, what’s happening,

Well, i know in the last post i said i was going to write another one the next day, yeah right!

No but really, i've been busy with work and stuff, always working late, deadlines to meet etc.

.um..ok..now i am starting to make the kind of excuses a guy makes when he is cheating on his wife/girlfriend...hehe(no offence to the real dudes out there).

....

....So what has been going on since the last post. Well, nothing too exciting. I am always either at work or at home doing work, or playing the new guitar that Zipporah bought for me on my birthday.

Ahh Zipporah, that's my main squeeze. I met her through Rafael, we call him 'Raf for short. He's my best friend. I've known Raf for most of my life now, we grew up together, went through high school and college together.

Raf was what i call a natural. He always had it so easy with girls back in high school. I mean, he didnt have to do much to get a girl to become attracted to him. "being yourself is not enough, you have to be your best self", that was like his tagline up to this day, he still uses it. The dude always has some theory he ran by. He is relatively built, pretty boy face, about 5'11, the same height as me, the ladies say we compliment eachother, but yeah right, that's just indirect gay comments, well at least that's what it sounds like(no homo).

But anyways....back to Zipporah. I met her at Raf's older sister's wedding. She was looking so good, i instantly thought maybe it was a girl Raf was hittin, but it turned out to be his good friend. Anyways, she was wearing this black satin dress that hugged her slim model-type body so perfectly. Her skin was smooth like butter-milk, and a smile that lit up the whole reception. She was sitting with with Raf when i walked to the hall, i came on my own. I hated going to weddings alone, I mean, it just doesn’t go. I always believed it was only right to bring a beautiful lady with you, but hey, this time was a one-off. So i walked towards there table, said our hello's, she smiled, i smiled! It didn’t take long for us to click and we just started talking. There was no need for her to be stoosh because she we already had a mutual friend, Raf, which made things a lot easier when getting to know each other. , and the rest was history. We have been talking ever since.

She is one of those kind of girls that you can just chill with, you know, the kinda girl that gets along more with guys than girls, that's why we can kick it when i'm with my boys. She ain't too emotional, yet not too cold, just right.....I know your probably thinking why i ain't wifed her yet(going out with her)...well....it's too early days for that...besides....she aint the only one...trust me, at this age commitment for a young handsome guy is about as easy as sticking a needle through your pupil. Not that easy is it? Well i just think dudes who get themselves tied up are just fooling themselves. It's either because they are tryna prove to themselves, or the girl, or society that they can be faithful, when deep down they know they are still lusting after that light skin chick at the bar with the apple bottom, knowing well that if they get a chance to hit, they'll be doing more dunks on her than Lebron James!

Don't get me wrong, i ain't one of those crazy dudes that is scared of commitment or nothing, i just have my opinions, and Zipporah understood that, thats why i like her, we even joke about it sometimes. Does she know I’m seeing other girls......(ummm...i think so :-) ).

Oh shoot! Sorry to cut the post short……I forgot I had a meeting to go to (I’m at work by the way). We always have these pointless meetings that are pencilled in the diary to last about 30 minutes but end up lasting for about 2hours, what a piss take.

…I think I’m supposed to be going to see Zipporah tonight, hopefully that should allow my brain to relax after a long day’s work and stupid meetings, I’m going to need some good TLC J

See you tomorrow.

Miguel

Breaking your 'Miguel Harper' Virginity

Earlier on today....

"So how do you want it, Miguel, you just getting a shape up as usual yeah?" said my regular barber, whilst he was looking at my overgrown nappy hair through the mirror. I stayed silent for a while and didnt reply, but just smiled. "No way bruv, no way, nooo way, you cutting it off?" she shouted in excitement again, this time turning my chair to face him. I still stayed silent for about 30 seconds approx, took a deep breath......."cut it all off" i said quietly. At that point all of the other barbers turned off their clippers and turned towards my direction. I think they wanted me to burst out laughing and then say "oh im only joking", but i kept a straight face. "Miguel, tell me your joking bruv, are you seriously cutting it off, you been growing that thing for ages man" one of the barbers asked. "Yeah man, its that time, its a new me, gotta do it bro" i replied. The moment i said that, all of the ladies who were waiting for their boyfriends/or whoever the guys cutting their hair were to them started rejoicing and said its about time(they are regulars in the barbershop). I didnt want to entertain them so i just kept my mouth shut and let the barber do his job, so i closed my eyes throughout the ordeal lol, i couldn't bare to watch the sight of all that hair going.

20 minutes later...

I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror. "WOW *&*&*" i shouted. lol. I mean, i have'nt seem myself with a one level for AGES, it felt soo odd. "Miguel you look good boy hmm" said one of the girls waiting for her boyfriend, who gave her a dirty look shortly after the comment. "Thanks" i replied and smiled, spudded the barber, gave him £10 for the cut and an extra tip for the good shapeup(its hard for barbers to get the right shape how i want it at times, believe me". I exchanged my usual pleasantries and then left the barbershop. As soon as i walked out of the barberhshop, i felt like a million POUNDS!(worth more than "dollars"). It felt as if a new life had begun, a new Miguel...oh

..Now

....im sure you already know my name is Miguel. If not, then you must have some serious issues, not worse.....lets not go there..ANYWAYS! So......let me tell you a bit about myself. Now....i am a very straight up, so i am just going to bullet point these, just so i dont waste my time writing for you.

• I am only 21 years of age, yes 21.
• I live alone somewhere outside of London(on the outskirts) in my own flat.
  
• I work for a software company as a contractor(and have my own little things here and there)
• I am not exactly the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, but i am Miguel Harper, that says more than enough
• I am seeing three different girls at the moment. I am not a bad guy or anything, not a player or anything, but as a guy, in this day and age, things aren't as simple as 'society' makes it out to be, trust my i'm a living testimony, you'll learn more about this i guarantee you.
  
• I love my boys, and thats NO HOMO, i seriously love my boys. Marcus, Rafael and Terry, those are my partners in crime, but you'll hear a bit more about them later, now its all about MEEEEE!
  

To be honest yeah, im not writing that much today, 'cus im tired, and my bed looks good from where i'm sitting, plus...i got work 2moro, and i need to "make love on the phone" too(NOTE: THIS DOES NOT MEAN PHONE SEX PEOPLE!).

This blog is about me, its my life, its my world, and i'm allowing you into it, but the question is, are u going to survive in this world of mine? muahahaha(evil laugh).....um...right.....anyways for real, it has been a good day today, went work, went to cut my hair. I think i need to sleep before i get my sanity back properly, so i should be back 2omro with a REAL post. Now that you have finished reading the first post, your 'Miguel Harper Virginity' has been broken, and you can now sit back and enjoy the ride.................

Goodnight

&

Stay tuned

Miguel